share your story of heartache with mary monaghan

I’ve been logging on from time to time with the real intention of writing something, but every time words fail me.

It is only now, having covered some personal distance that perhaps today, I’ll find the words to put together my ‘tale’ of personal discovery. I’ve been married for 7195 days and for about 6935 days, I’ve always wondered what if? Married too young, pregnant immediately and found myself ‘truly’ stuck in this relationship… Or so I thought. Only recently, being presented with a good reason and opportunity to free myself – low and behold, I could not do it. Naturally, came up with a 1001 reasons why I could not cut my losses and move on. Kids, money, parents etc. After some considerable personal struggle and plenty of self talk (professional help included ha-ha), I came to the realization that I’ve been fooling myself for too long.

Here I was with enough ammunition to call everything quits. Everyone will understand and be supportive. And yet … Finally, I get it. I love him. I really do. I don’t want to spend endless evenings wondering where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with… I don’t want that life.

He finally gets me (after 19 years and 8 months), he gets me. He knows who I am and what I need. And yet … here I was always thinking I wanted something else, someone different and never ‘happy’. What a lie….!

I’m married to a quiet & gentle man. He’s got so many good qualities that I’ve overlooked for too long. He is an amazing father and a good loving son to his parents. Most of all – a supportive husband that rarely gives his very ‘demanding’ wife grief. A good man, that’s been neglected for a long time. OK, from time to time, needs to show that he’s the man of the house, but overall allows me to do my own thing, give me the freedom to ‘succeed’ & grow and understands when I need to break out.

I’ve neglected this marriage and if ‘real’ happiness was missing, I’ve come to realize that I’m the driver in this. In my search for ‘realness’, romance, happiness and ‘whatever’, I’ve very nearly lost my true love. My first love. My only love.

Nice thing though – I’ve got a second chance to get this right. I’m taking it.

Thank you Mary – for being there when I needed it. Me talking, you listening – was part of my discovery.


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Mary Monaghan, a great storyteller

“I heard your electric interview on Gerry Ryan. Truly captivating – you are obviously a great storyteller. What struck me most was your capacity for compassion and forgiveness – a complete willingness for understanding. It was inspiring. Take care and good luck.”