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Have you ever wondered why your path has crossed with someone who seems to have no significance in your life? Well, they say “everything happens for a reason”, and sometimes we are lucky enough to find out what that reason is.

In 1974 at age 14, a boy with a “Kiwi”accent arrived at our school. I was taken with his wild nature and outspoken manner and cute accent. I developed a teenage crush on him for awhile, but he did not stay at our school for long. For the next few years I ran into him at parties, disco’s, movies and other venues around town, but never really got to know him. Once or twice over the years I thought of him and wondered where in the world he had ended up.

Now, approximately 30 years later, I discovered facebook. As I sat in front of my PC trying to recall names from the past and searching them online, his name came to me and I searched for him. When his name popped up with a photo, I immediately felt the excitement of that old teenage crush. I was nervous and excited to make contact with him again. My finger hovered above the “add friend” option, as I hesitated to click on it. Finally I just thought, “Oh what the hell”, added a short message which included my maiden name and clicked. Well, now the ball was in his court, he could either accept my friend request or ignore it. The next day I couldn’t wait to get to work to see if he had responded, and there it was, friend request accepted, and he had attached a message. He remembered me….

Apparently he had only recently joined facebook a few months before. So that was the first act of fate, that I should have thought of him at that time and not before he had signed up. We began to send the odd message to each other, only sharing the very basic’s of our lives over the past 30 years. Then suddenly he was not answering and I noticed that there were no more posts from him for about two weeks. He had told me that he had been very ill and had been receiving treatment, so I thought that he had become ill again.

The panic and desperation I felt at not being able to contact him was overwhelming. I found his mother under his friends list and contacted her. But she had not heard from him either. I left a few messages for him and then one day he was back. The relief I felt when I saw a message from him was so comforting. He was blown away that somewhere out there in the world someone cared enough to worry about his absence. From that moment on, he began to share more personal details about his life. The things he told me about, where he’d been and what he’d done with his life, scared me a little, as I had lived a very conservative life.

He on the other hand had lived, what he calls a “very colorful life”. Apparently he wanted to see if once I knew the truth about his life, if I would forget about him and move on, but I persevered and wanted to know more about him. He began to trust me as he realized I genuinely cared about him. Soon our messages became more intimate and much more frequent. We were falling in love. As we shared more and more about ourselves, it became evident that we were somehow connected. We shared so many likes and dislikes, opinions, and our outlook on life was mirrored, along with the way we felt about many things, and about each other.

We have been corresponding for 5 months now, are totally in love and committed to each other. I live in South Africa and he lives in the UK, and I am planning to visit him in three weeks time.

I have spent a small fortune on my phone contract since January. In the first few days once we realised that we were meant for each other, we exchanged more than 100 messages in 4 days. Later we sent approximately 500 messages or more per month, while we were learning about each other, which would be over 2000 messages and emails. I have no idea how much he has spent loading airtime on his phone and also having the internet installed at his house. We both feel that what we have found, one cannot put a price tag on. It has been a wonderful experience for us, as we both felt that our time for romance was over. I had been married three times, and he had been separated from his wife for 16 years. Within a week or two of our cyber relationship beginning he started divorce proceedings, and I ended a 6 year relationship with my partner. We suddenly felt the need to cut all ties to enable us to be together, and to begin our future with a clean slate.

I know now, without a doubt that he crossed my path as a teenager to plant the seed in my heart, and it has taken 30 years for our lives to come full circle, that we may experience this love. His life experiences, and mine, have prepared us for this relationship. As I look back now on the things I had to endure in getting to this point, I realise why I had to go through all that. It was to teach me to be understanding of all the things that he has experienced. Had I not been through so much I would have been naïve and not been accepting of the life he had lead and things he had been involved in during his younger years, and I would have walked away. The experiences I have encountered have taught me not to be judgmental, and to be more patient and tolerant of others. One never knows what hardships they have lived through.

I am now eternally grateful for every relationship and every situation that I have experienced along the way. The saying “everything happens for a reason” finally makes sense as I look back and all the answers to “why” become evident.


 

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Tanya

“May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand”