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“The” day finally dawned and I was off to the airport. My very first long flight. My son kept asking me, “are you nervous yet?”. The strange thing was that I never got nervous at all, as I was so sure that I was doing the right thing. My friends arrived unexpectedly at the airport to see me off and we all chatted excitedly. It was finally time to board the plane. We said our goodbyes and my adventure began.

As I sat on the plane waiting to take off, I said a little prayer, that all would go well and that in 12 hours I would be with this man I had falling so deeply in love with. My anticipation at seeing him again after 30 years was almost overwhelming.

The flight was uneventful, and I passed the hours by staring out the window looking into the night, watching the moon and the stars, and the lights of the ships way down below as we flew over the sea. Morning arrived as we flew over the White Cliffs of Dover and on into Heathrow, where I was met by my friends, who took me home for coffee to pass the 5 hour stopover.

Back to Heathrow and onto a small plane to Manchester. Due to unforeseen circumstances, John was not able to fetch me and asked me to catch the train to Doncaster where he would be waiting for me. Suddenly I felt very independent at having to do all these things that I had never done before. Catching a shuttle to the station and then the train to Doncaster. The trip was beautiful and I enjoyed every minute of it. It gave me time to just relax and enjoy the ride, and appreciate the scenery.

Next stop Doncaster station. I hauled all my luggage off the train and suddenly felt his arms around me. I turned and my arms flew up around his neck. My life’s search was over, I was home. He kissed me and and we held each other, neither wanting to let go. I knew that we were meant to be together. From that moment on we were inseparable for the next 30 wonderful, blissful days. As his friend drove us back home he held my hand, and I felt safe and secure with him.

He ran my bath and made me something to eat. I climbed into bed and as I drifted off, Cape Town and my life seemed a million miles away. I was with the man I loved and I had never been happier.

I was woken the next morning with a kiss and a cup of tea and we fell into a routine from day one. Either he brought tea or I did, whoever was awake first. We spent hours talking about our lives and what had happened since we were at school. We talked about our likes and dislikes and found so much common ground. We shared so many interests, views and dreams for our future together.

The process of discovery was amazing. The realization that this was “it” and we were finally together, was overwhelming. Even though we had exchanged hundreds of messages over the past 7 months, and so much information, we still had so much to share. Our love for each other just grew stronger and more intense by the day.

Our time together was wonderful and we enjoyed every moment of being together. Catching buses, walking in the Moore’s, exploring the countryside, having coffee in numerous little coffee shops, shopping, cooking, cleaning and loving, plenty of loving.

The weeks went by too quickly and before I knew it we were driving back to Manchester airport. My head was buzzing, I did not want to leave, but I missed my kids and family. My heart was ripped in two. I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving John behind. But as we said goodbye I knew that it would only be for a while, and we would be together again soon. The holiday was over, and our life together had just begun.

It’s been almost three months since I returned home, and we are still counting the days till we can be together again. Only this time it will be for the rest of our lives. There is nothing more satisfying than knowing that your search is over and that you can just relax and be comfortable in the knowledge that your life has come full circle and that your love will be home soon.

In 1974 at age 14, a boy with a “Kiwi”accent arrived at our school. I was taken with his wild nature and outspoken manner and cute accent. I developed a teenage crush on him for awhile, but he did not stay at our school for long. For the next few years I ran into him at parties, disco’s, movies and other venues around town, but never really got to know him. Once or twice over the years I thought of him and wondered where in the world he had ended up.

Now, approximately 30 years later, I discovered facebook. As I sat in front of my PC trying to recall names from the past and searching them online, his name came to me and I searched for him. When his name popped up with a photo, I immediately felt the excitement of that old teenage crush. I was nervous and excited to make contact with him again. My finger hovered above the “add friend” option, as I hesitated to click on it. Finally I just thought, “Oh what the hell”, added a short message which included my maiden name and clicked. Well, now the ball was in his court, he could either accept my friend request or ignore it. The next day I couldn’t wait to get to work to see if he had responded, and there it was, friend request accepted, and he had attached a message. He remembered me….

Apparently he had only recently joined facebook a few months before. So that was the first act of fate, that I should have thought of him at that time and not before he had signed up.
We began to send the odd message to each other, only sharing the very basic’s of our lives over the past 30 years. Then suddenly he was not answering and I noticed that there were no more posts from him for about two weeks. He had told me that he had been very ill and had been receiving treatment, so I thought that he had become ill again. The panic and desperation I felt at not being able to contact him was overwhelming. I found his mother under his friends list and contacted her. But she had not heard from him either. I left a few messages for him and then one day he was back. The relief I felt when I saw a message from him was so comforting. He was blown away that somewhere out there in the world someone cared enough to worry about his absence. From that moment on, he began to share more personal details about his life. The things he told me about, where he’d been and what he’d done with his life, scared me a little, as I had lived a very conservative life. He on the other hand had lived, what he calls a “very colorful life”. Apparently he wanted to see if once I knew the truth about his life, if I would forget about him and move on, but I persevered and wanted to know more about him. He began to trust me as he realized I genuinely cared about him. Soon our messages became more intimate and much more frequent. We were falling in love. As we shared more and more about ourselves, it became evident that we were somehow connected. We shared so many likes and dislikes, opinions, and our outlook on life was mirrored, along with the way we felt about many things, and about each other.

We have been corresponding for 5 months now, are totally in love and committed to each other. I live in South Africa and he lives in the UK, and I am planning to visit him in three weeks time.

I have spent a small fortune on my phone contract since January. In the first few days once we realised that we were meant for each other, we exchanged more than 100 messages in 4 days. Later we sent approximately 500 messages or more per month, while we were learning about each other, which would be over 2000 messages and emails. I have no idea how much he has spent loading airtime on his phone and also having the internet installed at his house. We both feel that what we have found, one cannot put a price tag on. It has been a wonderful experience for us, as we both felt that our time for romance was over. I had been married three times, and he had been separated from his wife for 16 years. Within a week or two of our cyber relationship beginning he started divorce proceedings, and I ended a 6 year relationship with my partner. We suddenly felt the need to cut all ties to enable us to be together, and to begin our future with a clean slate.

I know now, without a doubt that he crossed my path as a teenager to plant the seed in my heart, and it has taken 30 years for our lives to come full circle, that we may experience this love. His life experiences, and mine, have prepared us for this relationship. As I look back now on the things I had to endure in getting to this point, I realise why I had to go through all that. It was to teach me to be understanding of all the things that he has experienced. Had I not been through so much I would have been naïve and not been accepting of the life he had lead and things he had been involved in during his younger years, and I would have walked away. The experiences I have encountered have taught me not to be judgmental, and to be more patient and tolerant of others. One never knows what hardships they have lived through.

I am now eternally grateful for every relationship and every situation that I have experienced along the way. The saying “everything happens for a reason” finally makes sense as I look back and all the answers to “why” become evident.

Cape Town

Thursday 5th August 17h30 Five Flies Restaurant Cape Town
Friday 6th August 17h30 Folio Books Main Road Newlands
Saturday 7th August 10h00 Wordsworth Books Willowbridge

Johannesburg

Thursday 12th August 17h30 Gingko Restaurant Parkview

Durban

Saturday 14th August 10h00 Adams Bookshop Musgrave Centre

Port Elizabeth

Thursday 19th August 17h30 Ron Belling Gallery Park Drive

Hoping to release Who Do You Belong To? in Ireland later this year